Tonight, Tommy's birth parents and birth sister came over to our house for an impromptu dinner- hot dogs, potato salad, spring greens, and ice cream... the perfect summer meal! Ha! With A and M adjusting to life with Baby A, and with our crazy schedules this summer, it's been hard to find a time to get together... but we finally got a chance tonight! Tommy was very excited all day, telling his cousins, "[A and M] coming for dinner... and baby too!"
It was so great to catch up and to see the kids together. Tommy was so sweet with Baby A, patting her on the tummy and wanting to kiss and hug her! A and M got a kick out of comparing and contrasting the children's temperaments and habits. Tommy and Baby A seem to have some similarities, but also many unique qualities that make them each so special. It will be so neat to see their relationship grow!
We feel so fortunate to have the relationship we do with Tommy's birth family. As in any relationship, there are no rules and the dynamics are always shifting and changing. We've heard of open adoption relationships in which the visits, or the texts, or the emails, etc lessen over time. This is understandable... life circumstances occur. People get busy, they may move farther away from one another, or in some cases, frequent visits or contacts can often be a painful reminder of a birth parent's loss.
We love that our relationship with Tommy's birth parents has remained as close as ever. We find it takes open and genuine communication, as well as a child-centered approach- whatever happens to us in our lives, we are bonded by a shared love for our child. It's not about us, but about him. Our relationship is only closer now, with the addition of Tommy's birth sister.
We've already made plans to get together again real soon!
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