Beautiful days...

This year's spring season has been fabulous!  The weather has been more like summer than spring, which is unusual for our part of the world, where we have seen a May snow on more than one occasion!  Ha!  We are certainly loving every second of it.  The past couple months have been a busy time with birthdays, family get-togethers, and barbecues.

Tommy is old enough now to play with the neighborhood kids... and every day that it's not raining, he loves to be out on the playset or jump around on his neighbor's or cousins' trampolines. Lolo and Lola just opened their pool, so we have been having fun swimming and splashing around.  We have taken Tommy for swim classes since he was 6 months old and he loves the water!    

Most of our friends have young children and babies; and it's been so fun to watch all the kids playing together. Tommy loves babies; and when we speak with Tommy about having a baby sister or brother in the future, he says, "baby... baby" and smiles with excitement!  We know he's going to be a fantastic big brother!

We're looking forward to the rest of spring and the approaching summer...

  

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!  What a wonderful weekend!  We love living so close by to family; and were able to celebrate with both sets of families this weekend.  The weather has been beautiful!  So we did a lot of work out in the garden and Tommy got to play with his cousins and all the neighborhood kids.  This morning, Mike and Tommy treated Kit to a yummy breakfast in bed, complete with flowers and chocolates!!

On Mother's Day weekend, we also celebrate and honor the amazing woman who made it possible for Kit to become a mother- our dear son's birth mother, A.  This year was even more special, as we celebrated as she and Tommy's birth father welcomed the birth of their daughter yesterday morning (on Birth Mother's Day!)!  What a precious gift for two incredible individuals!  Tommy's birth parents mean the world to us; and we are so excited for them!  What a blessing open adoption has been!

We saw this video on YouTube this weekend and had to share: Agape Project- Adoption.  Truly beautiful!

Honoring ALL mothers

This weekend we will be honoring all mothers.  For some of us in the adoption world, we save the Saturday before Mother's Day to celebrate birth mothers for the brave, selfless, and loving choices they made for their children.  Our agency, Adoption STAR, holds a wonderful Birth Mother's Celebration, where adoptive families and birth families gather together in celebration of motherhood.  There are likely places within your communities where this day is honored as well.

Understandably, Mother's Day weekend can often be a bitter-sweet time.  We reflect on the amazing joy we experienced the moment our son was born, but also understand the sense of loss our son's birth parents likely experienced in that very same moment.  We are so fortunate to have a close relationship with Tommy's birth parents, A & M; and we often speak openly and honestly around each other's feelings and experiences, as we're all on this journey together.  We feel so lucky for them!

This year, we will be celebrating with A & M, independent of our agency's Birth Mother's Celebration.  While we love this agency event, A is about ready to deliver her baby any day... so something a bit more low key is in order!! As A & M prepare for the arrival of their baby girl later this month, we are so happy and excited that they will be able to experience the joys of parenting!  And we're all so thrilled that our children will be able to know each other and know that their families love them so very much!

To read more stories about Birth Mother's Day, check out the blogs at America Adopts!

     

Open Adoption: So your son knows who his birth parents are...?

Yes!

People are often surprised to learn that we have a continued relationship with our son's birth parents, A and M.  Honestly, when we first began the adoption process, we knew little of what is referred to as an open adoption, or one in which the birth family and adopted child enjoy an ongoing personal relationship; and initially the prospect was intimidating.  Everyone has some horror story or saw some movie on TV about these types of situations going awry.  In learning more about adoption, and in developing a close and meaningful relationship with our son's birth parents, open adoption just made sense.  We want our son to grow up knowing his history and knowing that he is loved by so many people in his life.

Openness in adoption means different things to different families based on what feels comfortable and what makes the most sense for all members of the adoption triad.  This may mean exchanges of letters and pictures, emails, connections via social media, visits at the adoption agency, independent meetings determined by the birth family and adoptive family, etc.  We enjoy what is considered a "fully open" relationship with our son's birth parents.  For us, that means exchanges of letters and pictures, Facebook friendships, several visits per year (holidays, Birth mothers' Day, our son's birthday), many impromptu get-togethers, texts, and phone calls.  Tommy also sees a set of his birth grandparents and other members of his birth family with some frequency.  Soon we will celebrate with Tommy's birth parents in welcoming their new baby into the world... another reason why open adoption makes so much sense... Tommy will know and have an ongoing relationship with his birth sibling!

Obviously, we cannot promise the same relationship with another birth parent, as relationships vary in closeness and comfortability; and it certainly took time to develop the kind of close and trusting relationship we have with A and M and their families.  However, we would love to have an ongoing relationship if that is something that a birth parent would be comfortable with.  We recognize that situations occur and relationships change over time; and we would respect times when a birth parent may want more or less contact depending on the circumstances.

If you would like to learn more about Open Adoption, The American Association of Open Adoption Agencies (AAOAA) is a good resource to learn more about open adoption.